the truth the lies the love and the flies

i'm not a photographer - i dare not call myself/label myself as one. photographers capture great pictures - tells a story with it. I'll try to capture a moment and tell you about it.

Curiosity drives us.
I remember the feeling of fear, how and what a familiar feeling - it grips us, takes us to a place where we remember, keeps us there until we decide on the next best thing.
Courage frees us. Let's us explore uncharted territories, attempt new feats, and drive to greater victories.
I remember fear, but I will think of courage.

As you will. As will I.

Failure is an OPTION

I came across this phrase moments ago:


Failure IS an option.

Intriguing because we so often hear and understand the opposite.

Yet, as I ponder about it even more, how true it is to be.

Failure is often more times an OPTION rather than a predicament.
Every single step, decision on what to do (or not to do) ideally leads to your victory, or in this case, down-fall.

We are quick to blame fate, God, luck and whatever the fck, but ourselves when Failure becomes us. Indeed, we will quickly deny our 'options' which lead us here - wherever that may be. How selfish and ignorant we are.

Life is an option - the blue pill, the red pill. to fight and survive or to roll over and die.

* picture has nothing to do with writing content. these two individuals are not failures of society or life.

peace

just writing

when , where, what, how

are the questions.
forever is the answer.

in the very same way

we have slowly learned by the means of 'whatever-the-fuck' media or culture today that ideally, more means best, more means good, more means great. basically reiterating consumer culture which dictates that the more we own/possess, the better we are.

i beg to differ in that very sense by thinking about the analogy of coffee:

we pay an average RM8 here today for a cup of good latte. Starbucks gives you the opportunity to choose three different sizes (S,M,L - screw the fancy size names) with the additional of RM1 for each upgrade in size.

Yet, any other consumer would think that , "Hey! for only an additional RM1, I can get a larger cup of coffee".
But, the wise will think and understand that it isn't about the size of the cup which dictates satisfaction, but the quality of the cup. Besides, there's only so much latte you can actually consume before going into the shits.

Translate that into life's perspective where we think that more of something actually means better: more time,  more money (debatable), more things, more fun, more this, that, etc. actually translate into a better sense of living.

If we put ourselves in a position to think that quantity can dictate satisfaction, there will come a time that we may be forced to see otherwise.
Eg: spending more time with someone, maximizing your day may seem like a lot, but what really means everything is in the details of things, those little moments we think we covered, but didn't. Like a cup of coffee, the first sip, and the last bits before it's over - then only do we realise, that was amazing.

With that said, it's in the nothingness, in the details, in the smaller things, in the quality of things, of things unseen, of things unnoticed, that makes life a little bit special.

some advice to myself.

the lagging in love.

How did we get here?

is a question i ask myself in regards with the way we communicate with our lovers.
how did we come from literally seeing each other, to letters, to phone calls, to sms, to emails, and eventually here to WhatsApp, BBM and the sorts.

What we've done is amazing, bridged the distance and level of communication between lovers. We've created this multi layered pathway for lovers to constantly talk to each other seamlessly and almost 24/7.

Yet, what we've done is compromised the space in between. we become so caught up in the rush and need of each other, we grow constantly with this desire of 'wanting' each other so much, that it has become a need to always be in contact.

i contemplate often on how my grandparents used to communicate, how they forged their marriage for over 50 years, their friendship before and their love until today.

What I'm trying to get here is that with the advent of speed and technology, we've adapted and forced ourselves to be always 'wanting' -- attention, time, the desire to talk, when really, the space in between for lovers matters too.

the space in between to learn about oneself, to attend to one's needs, to be able to function as an individual first rather than having one's fingers glued to the phone - attending to the attention and need of another (lover).

I imagine that with letters and the postal service back in the day, how the space in between allowed each to anticipate the arrival of the letter, while in between, there was so much longing, so much patience, waiting, understanding and yearning that made a person to be a more wholesome individual.
perseverance With that said, let's continue to love in moderation, in abundance, in acceptance, in understanding, in patience, and in perseverance.

Painting.

on this cold and lonely day.

we do art.

The Ugly Rich.

I've seen the rich, how they spend their money, how it looks like they have a stick up their assess all the time, the glitz, the glamour, the social pressures, the image to keep and maintain.

Everybody wishes to be rich, to possess wealth, but damn me to hell if you see me wearing Gucci shit.
Big ups to humble millionaires like Sir Richard Branson and Bill Gates who choose to break the 'image' of wealthy fat cats. Who do good when bad times call and always remember where they come from.

Stairwell Mischief --Vans Ed.

I am inspired by Terry Richardson, Johnny McGeorge and Yone

Girl on Horses. --Vans ed--

i am inspired by:

  Terry Richardson, Johnny McGeorge and Yone Yasumasa 

evol

i have seen love triumph and become more real than ever when times were sour, in moments of grief, brokenness, sadness and destruction.

that's where true love is, in perhaps the moments where we think we cannot experience, give, receive and embrace love, that's where it truly is.

the world's a contradiction. yet, you are the amazement.

you are

still the wonder when i escape slumber
still beautiful in the make of your mornings.

i wanted to say, but was too shy at my doings.

Another Epic weekend indeed. my 2nd project house building with EPIC and certainly not the last.

It was a phenomenal task trying to get things together, but the people who toiled effortlessly during those 4 days struck my head and heart - inspiring me to believe that there are indeed Malaysians who give a shit.

I've had many who have said that they'd want to make a difference, to speak about change, yet when it actually comes to getting your hands dirty and making sacrifices in realising these things, nothing but silence, other plans, and array of excuses.

Truth be told, people only witness the pictures, the fun bits, the captured image of the moment, yet many do not realise the intense moments where things were tough, often frustrating, difficult and problematic. Building a home (physically) is truthfully a monumental task - where I've been in two projects, it does get somewhat more difficult (depending on various factors - sometimes out of your own control)

Yet, I like to think of it like this: here we are with a problem - the house - and then, there are many minor problems along the way which needs to be handled before the house actually gets to stand. Similarly with life, we are faced with a myriad of issues - screws, measurements, fittings, nails, etc etc - yet, to strive completion, we are given the opportunity, the ability, the wisdom, the tools and the spirit to see things through.

What I witnessed over the weekend was the immeasurable power of the human spirit to go beyond themselves for the service/purpose larger than themselves. To build a home for a family that we've never met before. Also, to have strangers (perfect ones) who have never met or known each other till the build to actually come together and work so perfectly with each other, is somewhat a very powerful thing.

It intrigues me - to see how people who strive for the greater good, can gel so well and perform beyond the call of the ordinary.

Finally, while taking the GBMS (great big morning shit) and also various times while building the home on site, I questioned myself -- WHY ARE WE DOING THIS ? ( especially when times got tough and rough )
then it came to mind, it's not a question of WHY, but HOW WE ARE DOING THIS -- together, as one, as Malaysians, as people, as a force, as an EPICARMY.  From the words of encouragement, WELL DONE! GREAT JOB! AWESOME! To Cha Cha's random fistbumps, to Daniel's fired  up machine like god speed spirit of getting things done, to each and every individual who made inspiration come to life during those four days, I suppose, HOW would be the greater question.

fei.